Dying

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book “On Death and Dying” outlines various stage that a dying person goes through in relation to the inevitable fact of their death. She says there is...

• a stage of Denial and Isolation
• a stage of Bargaining
• a stage of Depression
• and finally a stage of Acceptance.

Now Dr Kubler -Ross was addressing herself to the difficulty that terminally ill patients have in accepting their situation. But what we have to remind ourselves of perhaps is that there is no such thing as a person who is not dying. It is not the case that only the terminally ill are dying. Most of us are still at the Stage of Denial with regards to dying. It appears to be so far in the future that we maintain the irrational feeling that it won't happen to us. Of course we all know that we will die and that everybody dies but it is rarely a factor that influences how we live our lives. We often ignore the message of Death, not realising that it will only enhance our lives.

Being present at someone else's death is one way that we get a powerful reminder of mortality and impermanence. This can help us to focus on what is important, significant and meaningful in life. This was what happened for me at the time of my mother's death – I was reminded of what was meaningful in life.