Conflict 2

Siddhartha was sheltered by the Bodhi tree or more prosaically, his aspiration and faith gave him protection. And he needed protection because he was assailed by Mara. Mara is the personification of resistance to spiritual awakening. Firstly he was attacked by Mara’s army, then tempted by Mara’s daughters and then Mara tried to undermine his confidence. Here we have very dynamic images for hatred, craving and ignorance.

Mara’s army attacks with arrows and spears but all the missiles hurled at Siddhartha turn into flowers and settle gently at his feet. This attack of Mara’s army represents a massive internal conflict. Siddhartha’s unshakeable determination is coming up against all the forces of his psyche that resist the implications of spiritual death. This is an inevitable part of any spiritual endeavour.

We are never one hundred percent behind our spiritual aspirations and so we experience conflict and dealing with this conflict is the raw material of our spiritual practice. That's what we are working with; our aspirations and our actual desires and experience. We can take that raw material of inner conflict and do something creative with it. If we don’t deal with our inner conflict it will manifest externally and we will end up blaming other people for our lack of spiritual progress and limitations.

On one level inner conflict is a manifestation of the unintegrated psyche and the disparate parts have to come into some sort of relationship. Just as the Buddha’s awareness and faith comes into relationship with Mara’s armies and the conflict resolves into flower blossom; symbols of beauty and growth.

On another level inner conflict is a manifestation of the egoistic resistance to reality. It’s an existential thing this inner conflict. Experiencing inner conflict doesn't mean we are bad or un-spiritual or incapable of practice. It is what happens if you try to lead a spiritual life.

Either way it is more creative to recognise inner conflict for what it is and take awareness into it. We have to become acutely aware of how we resist spiritual insight and how we cause ourselves suffering. If we manage to do this thoroughly then our resistances will subside.